This article has been written by Ms. Nitika Sehra (she/her), a student of Delhi University. She is heading the project Trans-creations which aims to the development of the transgender community in the vicinity of Delhi NCR.
Clothing: Clothes that you wear to look presentable enough for a particular activity.
Makeup: Products that you put on your face to make yourself more attractive.
If gone beyond these definitions set by Google, men are subjected to homophobic and transphobic slurs like:
You are wearing heels! Too girly
You are a boy, you can't use makeup
These fitted dresses are for girls
Nail Paint lagaya hai! ladki hai kya?
Clothes and makeup came into existence to cover oneself and enhance one’s appearance, but never came with a tag.
"Femininity and masculinity are a result of social conditioning. They aren’t natural."
This whole process starts right from the moment when a woman conceives. The soon-to-be-parents go that extra mile and design rooms for their yet-to-be borns – pink if it’s a girl, and blue if it’s a boy. These binaries keep on increasing as they grow up and amidst all this, boys are taught that makeup and certain clothes are not meant for them. Since our childhood days, all of us learn that there are specific rules for both genders — not only what they are, but also how they’re enforced and how they work.
"The girls learn that some of the boy things that they do are an act of appraisal and encouragement, on the other hand, boys learn that femininity is forbidden territory. If you trespass over there you’ll get smacked down by the society.”
In a patriarchal society, makeup is often associated with femineity; it has been stereotyped as ‘Female-only territory’. Clothing in such societies has been genderized. Society is too primitive to understand that sex and gender can’t be placed into binary shackles and hence the expression of one’s individuality through clothing can’t be restricted because of gender. The only occasions men are allowed to put on even a hint of foundation or eyeliner or wear a "feminine" outfit is only for society’s entertainment. Such societies are the root cause of creating a toxic culture, by considering their women inferior and producing fragile identities, restricting men from expressing themselves fully.
The writer's main concern here is not that men should wear makeup or tunic tops, but just as it is acceptable for women to choose not to wear makeup or to wear pant shirts, so it should be for men to choose otherwise. Neither choice should be seen as less or more “feminine” because makeup and clothing know no gender.
When was the last time someone raised an issue of a woman wearing a sweater and jeans? For men, however, the act of wearing women's clothing in public is something debatable. It challenges the rules set by the so-called patriarchal society. It shocks onlookers. It draws glances and giggles. And when was the last time we judged a woman for not wearing makeup? But with men, it's just the other way round.
Most of us suffer within this double standard without questioning it. I know I certainly didn't until I had a chance to meet a man who wore lingerie and makeup and began to see the world through his eyes. You know people, it's easy to judge others for not seeing the inequality, but the fact of the matter is, as humans we tend to see only those things which affect us. We only have this confined brain space, and so, when we first see a man wearing women's clothing, be it a skirt, some panties, or even just carrying a purse, our little minds are blown. Not once have I witnessed a scenario where a man walked from the room with a dress skimming the tops of his hairy thighs, the short hem flashing cheeks, and the strap falling all come-hither-like down his shoulder. But you all couldn't agree more that we have seen this same scenario play out a hundred times over with women wearing men’s shirts. And you have to wonder: why not? Isn’t it strange that for a boy to want to be a girl, or look like a girl, or even dress like a girl, and follow skincare routines, is so unusual that it fills his parents with fear that he is abnormal and the display of "such" clothes is effectively an undermining of male authority and that these men aren’t “real” men because “real” men aren’t feminine?
Masculinity is valued, it’s associated with seriousness, power, credibility, and authority, so a woman reaching into a man’s wardrobe and lifestyle are seen as aspirational, and it gives her leeway to play with the pieces but a man can’t put up feminine clothing because then he’s gesturing towards a set of traits that our society doesn’t value and offers him insult by calling him effeminate.
Although achieving all goals of breaking fashion stereotypes would be a long fight, the world has evolved into a better place to some extent. Kajal, Lipstick, and bindis no longer belong only to women. People have started to understand that fashion isn't just a public manifestation of gender, but also a private one; it links how we feel in our bodies and who we feel we are inside. There are endless examples of men who rose above all stereotypical notions like Ankush Bahuguna, Harry Styles, Marc Jacobs, James Charles, Yashwant Singh, Deep Pathare, etc. who made a mark and inspired thousands of men to break the shackles that restricted them since ages. They were mocked, ridiculed, criticized, and called 'Unmanly' but their motto was simple "Do not let society stop you from doing what you want."
"It's not my eyeliner and crop top that scares you, it's my freedom to wear it that scares you. You play by a rulebook and I don't, which makes you insecure. This isn't about me, this is about you"
Ankush Bahuguna
These men refused to live in boxes and were able to jump the hurdle of no longer seeing the clothes and makeup linked to their sexist and homophobic connotations, and just seeing them as another normal thing to put up. And because of it, they don’t necessarily see their fashion choices as a political statement, but just an everyday outfits.
The crux of the matter is, We’ve been struggling with these same truths for decades now, from a mother worrying about her son’s growing dress collection in the mid-century to headlines today questioning any man’s sexuality who decides to give a tunic a try and a wing of eyeliner to his eye. And no matter how progressive we think we are now, these same attitudes persist in the same way they did a hundred years ago. Not until men can just as freely put on a chiffon dress as women put on trousers, we can't say we have figured it out.
To all men who rise above these patriarchal norms, “Your fashion sense is you expressing your individuality; Be proud of it"
It's Your #OOTD and no one except 'YOU' gets to decide it.